who he is
dreadful is not a good man. he was never trying to be.
he has a reason for everything he did to her. it doesn’t make it okay. the book knows that. he knows that. and he does it anyway because he is made of grief and blame and things that happened before she ever walked into his life and ruined every plan he had.
here’s what nobody warns you about. he fell first. completely, devastatingly, first. while he was putting her through it, he was already gone for her. and watching that slowly crack open across the pages — watching him reckon with what he’s done and what he feels and how impossible it is to hold both of those things at once — that’s the whole book.
he will not apologize. he scored a 1 on will apologize and he earned it. what he will do is make you understand why he is the way he is, and then let you decide what to do with that. which is somehow worse.
h.d. carlton really is not normal for this. twice now.
